So I went to Barnes and Nobles today, poking around the magazine section and what did I run across?  That's right, Dave Grohl staring right at me on the cover of Mojo magazine.  Man, like I said I can't get away from this guy!  Anyway, I sit down on the bench so I can read this article and find out what I'm missing out on.  It's a great article by the way.  I found out some things I hadn't known before.  I didn't realize that the band he was in pre-Nirvana, Scream, was supposedly the next Husker Du or REM.  Then they melted down like a lot of bands do.  I found out what a fluke it was that the guy from the Melvin's recommended, rather casually, Dave to play drums in Nirvana, who was looking for a drummer.  I found out some interesting things in the Foo Fighter history, like when they were recording One by One, it was NOT going well and the band was pretty apathetic.  I"m missing some of the details here, but the band was basically arguing over the direction of the songs and things escalated into a screaming match, at which point Dave laid down the law, saying basically that he was the leader, he was the primary songwriter, he was making the final decisions and if they didn't like it they could leave.  Then he scrapped everything they had recorded and started over.  Pretty awesome.  My respect level increased a notch over the already high spot it was at.  So did my corresponding hate level. 
Here is the kicker.  While I am sitting there mind you, the lady walks up with a stack of the latest "Q" magazine (from the UK).  The cover article was "The Greatest Artists of the Century" with a collage of a bunch of artists.  This collage opens out into tri-fold size.  However, who's face is peering out, front and center on the cover?  That's right, Dave Grohl.  This is not the best artists of the year, or even the decade.  This is artists of the century!  (Of course everyone on there is from the last few years, but that's another criticism for someone else to write about).  So there you have it, I can't get away from the guy.  Everywhere I turn he's reminding me of where I would like to be.  I hate Dave Grohl.
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In Part 1 of this series, I talked about Dave having one of the best screams in rock music today.  Well, not only does Dave have one of the best screams in rock, he can also sing softly with the best of them.  Again, what gives?  Usually really good screamers can't sing smoothly also.  There's always a rasp and roughness present in their voices, even when singing softly.  I'll pick Eddie Vedder as a good example.  On Pearl Jam's latest album, there are a couple of really great slow songs, but years of screaming Lukin, Spin The Black Circle and Do The Evolution and years of cigarette smoking give his voice a pretty rough edge. And I hate to say it, he just can't sing like he used to. 

Listen to Dave Grohl, though and you hear something quite different.  The first time I heard Dave sing was when Nirvana played MTV Unplugged and he was singing background vocals on some songs.  And I remember being struck at the time, thinking, "Wow, he has a really cool voice" (this was way before I hated him). And if you go back to the first Foo Fighters album and listen to a song like For All The Cows or Doll on The Colour And The Shape, his voice has an incredibly smooth, soft quality to it.  Even though Dave has said recently that he's spent the last 15 years wreaking havoc on his vocal chords and turning them into string cheese (and smoking cigarettes), you listen to songs on the latest Foo album like the beginning of Pretender or Let It Die, his voice is still silky smooth. 

This is a guy that when you see him live on TV doing special appearances, his voice usually sounds like crap.  He doesn't seem to concern himself with singing pitch perfect and is more focused on entertaining people and putting energy into his performance.  And people love him for it.  But for the studio he brings it.  Of course I think there's some studio "magic" going on and there's a big difference between $2,000 and $100 microphones. 

So how do I wrap this up?  Dave Grohl has one of the best screaming voices in rock.  Dave Grohl has one of the best soft voices in rock.  I have neither.  I hate Dave Grohl.
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Here's the video embedded here.  If that doesn't work, then here is a link to the VH1 website page.

Part 1: This Is A Call & Big Me
Part 2: Wheels (and how Dave goes to bbq's at Neil Young's house and doesn't have to mow his own lawn.  I have to mow my own lawn with a push mower. I mean like a real push mower.  With no motor.  I hate Dave Grohl.)
Part 3: My Hero
Part 4: Word Forward
Part 5: Everlong
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Note: Originally I had the videos embedded right here on the site.  However, they all started playing simultaneously when the page loaded.  That was no good, so here are the links to the video clips.

Re: Their dumb old Greatest Hits album: VIDEO

Re: How their crew is one, big, happy, stinking family: VIDEO

Re: Their dumb old recording studio: VIDEO

Re: Dumb old Wembley Stadium and how big and awesome it was: VIDEO
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Dave Grohl has one of the best screams in rock.  I admit it.  I won't say he has the best scream, because it's hard to say really and it's pretty subjective.  I mean, Eddie Vedder can scream awesome and Roger Daltry can scream with the best of them, even if he's not known as a screamer.  Robert Plant can scream great, in an otherworldly (and womanly) kind of way.  Steven Tyler has his moments too, although his screams feel a little more calculated to me (how many screams start with "Wai-kai-kai-kai-kai-KAI!!"?).  And there are others, I know. 

I'm not into all that "screamo" stuff either. Too much screaming becomes boring and monotonous anyway.  But the perfectly timed scream can be powerful.  What better time is there, really, than the bridge of Monkey Wrench?  "One last thing before I quit..." crescendo-ing into "I was always caged but now I'm FREEEEEEEE!!!!"  Awesome. 

I've seen the Foo Fighters in concert three times.  Each time, Dave screams his head off.  Not just in Monkey Wrench either, as there are plenty of Foo songs requiring a certain amount of throat shredding.  And each time I see them I can't help but wonder, "How does he do that night after night and still be able to sing?"  If I did that, I'm not sure I'd be able to talk the next day. But I think God has given some people big, powerful voices and they are able to use and abuse them without too much trouble.  Unfortunately, I'm not one of them.

In a previous post I mentioned that when I scream it sounds like a cross between John Fogerty and Wierd Al Yankovich.  Just one shortcoming that I'm reminded of when I listen to Dave Grohl scream.  I hate Dave Grohl.
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Here's Dave being all interesting and funny and stuff.  I hate Dave Grohl.
Here are some outtakes I found as well:
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Since this is my first post, let me start off by telling you a little bit about myself.  I think then maybe you'll begin to understand why I hate Dave Grohl so much. 

I have a band.  I have a dream of being a rock star, which started out as a shining beacon of light and hope.  But that beacon has grown dimmer and dimmer the older I get.  Now it is all but gone, squashed by the realities of life, responsibilities and time.  I am relegated to the status of "hobbyist" with my music and just enjoy the process of making it.  I guess I'll keep the day job; it's comfortable and provides for my family.  My life isn't bad, in fact it's pretty good for the most part.

But here's the thing.  EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND, who do I see?  Thats right. Dave Grohl.  Everything I've dreamed of doing he has done.  I can't get away from it.  The moment I try to accept my lot in life, I see Dave Grohl's face in Time magazine or I hear a Foo Fighter's song on the radio, reminding me of my failed attempt at rock super stardom.  I figured it's about time I get this out of my system once and for all by voicing my secret envies, petty though they may be.  So here it is to start: The top 21 reasons why I hate Dave Grohl.

  1. He's a rock star.
  2. His JOB is to rock out. (Let's just say my job isn't quite so exciting).
  3. He's a proven drummer, guitarist, singer, performer and, since the last album, a pianist.  What can't this guy do?
  4. The dude can't write a bad song.
  5. He was in the band that single handedly changed the face of popular music.
  6. Because of that, he's a shoe-in for the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame (along with Krist Novoselic and the late Kurt Cobain). 
  7. He's been on the cover of Rolling Stone, oh, I don't know, a MILLION times!
  8. He's the stand up comic of rock 'n roll.
  9. He's the George Clooney of rock 'n roll.  (Am I the only one who sees this? He's got the same toothy grin, self-deprecating sense of humor, he's the top of his field and everyone wants to work with him.  Okay, so he's happily married with two kids and not the consummate bachelor like Mr. Clooney I'll give you that).
  10. When Courtney Love attacks him in the press he responds in some sort of classy way.
  11. Everyone loves him.  (Except me of course. And possibly Courtney Love, although I bet there's more of a love/hate thing going on there).
  12. He's "the nicest guy in rock 'n roll." (Maybe he's the Tom Hanks of rock 'n roll...nah.)
  13. He's got one of the greatest screams in rock 'n roll.  (When I scream it sounds like a mix between John Fogerty and Wierd Al Yankovic).
  14. He sings soft ballads with the best of them too!  What gives?
  15. He makes Neil Young tear up when he sings.
  16. Not only does he write great songs, the arrangements are fantastic.  (Compare a Foo Fighters song to a Weezer song to see what I mean - nothing against Weezer, I love those guys.  I would've said compare them to my band, but the reference would have been lost on most people).
  17. Now that he's started Them Crooked Vultures with John Paul Jones he gets to play with 1/4 of Led Zeppelin. 
  18. He's played with Brian May, Tom Petty, Jimmy Page, Kurt Cobain, Josh Homme, Jack Black and, oh forget it, the list is too long.
  19. He's rich.
  20. He tours the world.
  21. Along side Steven Tyler, he's one of the most charasmatic front men around.  (Hmm...Dave Grohl the new singer for Aerosmith?  Okay, bad idea).
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen.  The first of many rants against the evils of the man who reminds me of my many shortcomings.  I hate Dave Grohl.

Editor's Note:  Before leaving a profanity laced comment full of grammar and spelling errors telling me to get a life, that I'm a loser, that Dave Grohl is a great guy and what is my problem, etc., etc, I would ask you to slow down, take a deep breath and actually read this article or if you have read it (maybe a little quickly), read it again until you are in on the joke.
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